Not Much Into Resolutions But This One I Gotta Do:
I have realized recently that I am truly convicted about gossip. Whether I have meant to or not I need to stop. And 2006 is the year to do it. It has been so easy, since most of my relationships are via phone, to let the conversation go down the wrong path, and I admit, I keep it going to stay in the know.
I am realizing that I cannot care about every little detail about others' lives because maybe it is keeping me from detailing my own life.
Now don't get me wrong I want to know if someone is pregnant, getting married, sick and stuff like that but if it gives me a precoceived view of a person or gives me an attitude or is something I wouldn't say to their face, I really don't think I need to know it or want to tell it either.
And that segways to "things we'd say to anothers' face". I had this conversation with a friend once and she said "people really don't want to know the truth" or something like that. Like do I really want to hear "Hollie, you are fat, and you are probably going to die at an early age" Well, actually, depending on the intention of the person saying it, I think I am okay hearing it. But I can tell the intent behind it.
I have said some things with the best intentions to people only to have them get defensive and I am like "well, okay then....." Now knowing that maybe I can only fluff them from now on.......
.....and I go to another and vent. (is that gossip?)
So question what is your definition of gossip?
And are you one to be okay with hearing the truth from another?
I am realizing that I cannot care about every little detail about others' lives because maybe it is keeping me from detailing my own life.
Now don't get me wrong I want to know if someone is pregnant, getting married, sick and stuff like that but if it gives me a precoceived view of a person or gives me an attitude or is something I wouldn't say to their face, I really don't think I need to know it or want to tell it either.
And that segways to "things we'd say to anothers' face". I had this conversation with a friend once and she said "people really don't want to know the truth" or something like that. Like do I really want to hear "Hollie, you are fat, and you are probably going to die at an early age" Well, actually, depending on the intention of the person saying it, I think I am okay hearing it. But I can tell the intent behind it.
I have said some things with the best intentions to people only to have them get defensive and I am like "well, okay then....." Now knowing that maybe I can only fluff them from now on.......
.....and I go to another and vent. (is that gossip?)
So question what is your definition of gossip?
And are you one to be okay with hearing the truth from another?
posted by HollieHobbie @ 1/12/2006 03:23:00 PM
3 Comments:
At 3:58 PM,
LiteraryGirl said…
I was actually thinking of changing my "Being Present" to The Year of Wholesome Talk after a big study of James 3 this week. Wow. Convicting. I even changed the message on my cell phone to say Ephesians 4:29 in order to make me think before I speak.
I am always okay with hearing the truth. Even if it hurts, I would wnat to know something that someone has prayed through and seriously felt convicted to tell me.
Definition of gossip is hard because I think even passing on trivial information can be gossip if we have the wrong intention. I think intent is huge, is it our business to pass on and would that person be okay with us sharing it, and then you could just check it with the Ephesians verse. If everything I say is supposed to build another person up, then...
And, read Proverbs. There's enough in there to make me keep my mouth shut forever. "Even a fool looks wise when he keeps his mouth shut." I think the less we say, the better. And I think you are on to something with that phone thing...
At 5:18 PM,
StephieAnne said…
Good words, Hollie. I'm impressed!
At 11:04 AM,
AMY said…
I agree with Jodi when she says that she thinks "even passing in trivial information can be gossip if we have the wrong intention." I have to watch myself because of the "need to share prayer requests." I tend to have my guard down more when I'm tired. I've been on both ends of the gossip train. The subject of gossip and the one spreading gossip.
I think I would be okay to hear the truth, if it is said in love. I would truly be appalled if I found out I'd said or did something inappropriate. I would hope someone would confront me on that so I can make things right.
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